Guess the joke‘s no longer funny

st,small,507x507-pad,600x600,f8f8f8Croatia
Mia Dimšić
Guilty Pleasure

Those were the days. Back in the noughties bookies still regularly placed the UK in the top 5, and we were still completely baffled when phone voters around the living rooms of Europe failed to vote for whatever tuneless noise we’d spat into the content that year.

“The UK was robbed!”, we’d say, like we say when we lose at every international competition involving a level of competitive skill ever except the Darts. And even that bloke off the Darts is dead now.

But try being Croatia. Amazing Spice Girls knock off act ENI obviously deserved to win with this work of almost complete genius, but only came 17th in 1997. This spine-tingling work of genius from 2010 from a girl group who put the F into Eminem somehow didn’t even make it to the final. Or take Doris Dragovic’s haunting “Maria Magdalena“, which somehow only scraped fourth in 1999. For a good 18 months this solid gold classic was my ringtone, my alarm clock and my start up sound on Windows Vista.

The trouble is there’s always something just a bit off, just a bit missing about the Croatian entry – and this year’s play on the concept of the “guilty pleasure” is no different.

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It says here that Mia Dimšić is a globe-trotting singer from Croatia with a “string of hits” to her name – that checks out, but those hits all seem to be introspective, low energy pop folk songs that you have on in those shops that sell candles and hope and framed inspirational quotes about the meaning of failure.

Is your least favourite Taylor Swift song Willow too? Think that, only worse, being sung by someone who appears to have no idea why she’s in Turin, flanked by dancers designed to make her look more interesting than she really is.

My all time favourite Croatian entry, by the way, was Severina’s “Moja Štikla” from 2006, the first year me and Mrs D went to see the contest live in Athens. The costumes! The dancing! The Eukulele! The bit where she sings “Shits, Shits”!

As Justin “difficult recovery from alcoholism” Hawkins said on our 2007 national final, they don’t make them like they used to.

Published by

Jim Dickinson

@Wonkhe SUs. Trustee @WinchesterSU. HE policy. Pop. Pro EU(rovision). Windmills not walls. FRSA. Dreams of visiting Moldova. A brunch. Dressing up. A feeling.

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