You‘ll keep the things to feel their smell

product_h_e_heart_pin_montenegro_1Montenegro
Vladana
Breathe

Oh for crying out loud.

Back in 2012 viewers of Semi Final 1 were treated – as the opener to the whole contest – to a grumpy old man doing a “song” about the fissures of european economic and social policy, in a minor key, with a donkey.

It was fuckaclysmically awful- amounting to an ageing, functionally alcoholic Yugoslavian showing off by muttering rhyming couplets into a mic whilst a mechanical donkey and two breakdancers wobbled around behind him on a raffia mat. Think Freshers in an art college and you’re almost there.

So eye stabbingly bad was this “spectacle” that Swedish host broadcaster SVT brought a motion to the Eurovision AGM to abandon drawing the running order by lots altogether, proposing instead that producers create the running order themselves.

The UK took parts, and then a vote was taken on the substantive to avoid another Rambo Amadeus opener. The result? With a 2/3 majority, motion carried.

And how did the Montenegrans respond? With some jarringly unpleasant mumbling dubstep spacemen. That’s right – some jarringly unpleasant mumbling dubstep spacemen. I ask you.

Montenegro

This year’s artist Vladana has offended every Eurovision fan on the contentment by saying that she started out singing on a karaoke show in Macedonia and now laughs about how now she is now “on the biggest karaoke show of them all”.

Adding insult to aural injury, she then pitched up to the Turquoise carpet ceremony and chucked her flag on the floor – causing outrage on public television and the intervention of the minister for culture who called it a “profanation of the nation.” Just wait til he hears the song!

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Published by

Jim Dickinson

@Wonkhe SUs. Trustee @WinchesterSU. HE policy. Pop. Pro EU(rovision). Windmills not walls. FRSA. Dreams of visiting Moldova. A brunch. Dressing up. A feeling.

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