How lucky, the existence of the autonomic nervous system

In Corpore Sano

And so to Serbia, previous home of the turbofolk lego man, that man with big hair singing about his shoes, and best of all, the subversive romany lesbian that swept to victory in 2007 and caused the Belgrade mayor to have to retrain his entire police to be more “tolerant”.

Eastern Europe stealing our points? Same sex relationships? Gypsies? Daily Mail island almost relaunched the Balkan conflict overnight.

Serbia is probably best known for Molitva. You know – Mooooooollliiiiiiiitvaaaaa. What a tune! The English version is titled “Destiny”, the Finnish version is called “Rukoilen” and was performed by the Beauty Queens, not Marija. The song has also been released as a dance remix and another remix called the “Jovan Radomir mix” was released by Swedish TV-presenter Jovan Radomir, who also wrote the English lyrics.


An instrumental version has also been released as well as a karaoke version. But best of all the UK oompah band “Oompah Brass” recorded an instrumental version of “Molitva” on their album Oompocalypse Now (2008) which premiered at the 2007 Belgrade Beer Festival!

Now every year I hear most of the songs and think “this is the worst Eurovision ever”. And then a few by-numbers bangers pop up, there’s a smattering of growers hidden in the pack and there’s a few surprises in the staging to lift something whose studio version is mediocre.

This year I’m afraid none of that is happening. Almost every entry seems to have an air of lockdown about it, Italian broadcaster Rai are likely to inject the opposite of energy into the presentation, they’ve banned most of the fan press from the compound, the main stage prop is broken (a “kinetic sun” that doesn’t swivel fast enough for the tight turnarounds between postcards) and the whole thing is just generally miserable.

Including Serbia. Apparently the song is a critique of the Serbian healthcare system and a satire on unattainable beauty standards, but it just sounds like downbeat noise to me. What you’ll see down the telly tube will be Konstrakta and her five bandmates with towels around their necks, who give her those towels while she sits washing her hands for three minutes singing about Megan Markle. It’s rubbish.

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Jim Dickinson

@Wonkhe SUs. Trustee @WinchesterSU. HE policy. Pop. Pro EU(rovision). Windmills not walls. FRSA. Dreams of visiting Moldova. A brunch. Dressing up. A feeling.

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