There are two sorts of Eurovision entry from Portugal. There’s the jaunty sort – like this – that you might hear in a pool bar in Albufeira while you’re hurling down locally produced spirits as some nineteen year old looks after your children on three days training all of which they were late for. And then there’s entries like this. Pure, uncut Portuguese drear.
It says here that after graduating from Berklee College of Music in 2017, MARO made the tough decision to move to Los Angeles instead of going home to Portugal. In her first year in LA, the artist released six self-written and self-produced albums. During this time, her Instagram caught the eye of Grammy winner, Jacob Collier, who invited her to join his debut touring band as a featured vocalist and instrumentalist. She’s since supported Jessie J, Fatai, ¿Téo?, and is currently opening for Charlotte Cardin’s European tour.
Which is all well and good, but I’ve tried, and I can’t get all the way through it without nodding off. I’m sure for some it’s art or something but for me it’s like silenor, lunestar, rozerem, restoril, halcion, sonata, ambien, edluar, intermezzo, zolpimist, ambien and belsomra all in one bottle. Don’t listen to it when driving or operating heavy machinery.
I think that’s probably enough about that, so let me introduce you to Daniela from Slovenia. She’s been reviewing Eurovision songs on YouTube for donkey’s years now and they are brilliant. She films them in her bedroom, and at the start of each one is facing her wardrobe before turning around, smiling and introducing herself. She chats about the contest, plays the song on her stereo, then gives her views. Her utterly baffling views.
Even though I’ve no clue what she thinks about most of the songs, her videos are mesmerising – as well as Eurovision song reviews she makes Christmas time in Ljubljana look magical, regularly reviews hair products, and has a dog called Simba. Good luck to her. She can’t stand the Portuguese entry either.